My Story

I wrote my first novel when I was about 7. Mercifully it doesn't survive, but I recall it was heavily influenced by Enid Blyton and had a protagonist called Joyce. I always wanted to write.

And I did. But all my initial publications were academic. It's a very different world. In 2012 I finished a PhD in Classics, and I published articles and a book about late Latin poetry. Unless you're also an academic Classicist, I don't much recommend them. Though perhaps if you're an insomniac.

I became a lecturer, then a teacher, and kept up a small amount of academic work. I started a Masters in Theology, as yet unfinished, and took my writing in a new direction. But still, it didn't quite fulfil what I wanted to write.

And so I started blogging. At the moment, you can't find any of those old blog posts. But they were mostly about feminism, gender, and education, including Classics. Eventually, I was forced by my employer to take the blog down. I stand by everything I wrote there. It was necessary and important.

At the time, I was a senior teacher in a boys' boarding school. In many ways, I loved my job. It was exceptionally varied, and the hours were ridiculous. But perhaps I would have stayed there for a long time, steadily working up the career ladder.

However, there was a problem. Every single day I was wrestling with a culture of misogyny, toxic masculinity, and flagrant homophobia. I tackled it head on, engaged with the issues in the classroom, flagged it to the most senior staff, and tried my hardest to make that school a better place.

For a while, I think I started to help improve things. But ultimately, I failed. I should have seen it sooner. Being told I shouldn't raise sexuality in the classroom. Shouldn't raise the sexism in our co-educational policies when they came in. Shouldn't cut my hair too short. Shouldn't expect things to change because we weren't that sort of school.

I could take the criticism of myself, just. Could get through panic attacks, anger, the endless wrestling over whether to stay. But when I felt that children were continuing to be failed and my name was on the paperwork, it began to break me.

I have faced with a lifelong struggle with anorexia. I have beaten it for years at a time, but it is always there. Eventually, when I stopped being able to teach properly, so close was I to fainting, I finally saw a doctor. No one else had noticed.

I was signed off for weeks, then months. I dropped to my lowest ever weight, was barely able to walk, returned to live with my parents. But I also started therapy, got the medication I needed to stabilize, and committed to making a change. And I quit my job.

I'm a workaholic and I hate to fail. It was the hardest decision I've ever made. I felt like I was letting a lot of people down: my colleagues, my students, my family. But it was also the best decision I've ever made. I am well on the road to recovery, though I know this illness never really goes away.

The change I made was a simple yet fundamental one. Never again will I sacrifice my values. It was based on this one rule that I made a decision over what to do with the rest of my life. I now teach privately, on my terms. It fulfils my love of teaching, my passion to give access to Classics, and to set my own rules. Yet, most importantly, it has given me the time to write.

I now teach every day, but the hours are far more forgiving, and I only take on the amount I can manage while staying healthy. The rest of the time I write. My work is uncompromising in its commitment to feminism and queer perspectives, and in its accessibility to all, but particularly marginalized readers.

Camilla, which will be available to buy in June 2021, was first drafted in 2019, over one summer holiday. Since then I've improved it considerably with the help of readers and professional editing. I have become a far better writer, but I am only at the start of that journey.

My second and third novels will both be out in the coming year. One is another feminist take on a myth, the other a boarding school novel with queer magical themes drawing on Arthurian legend.

I also write short stories. You can download three of these as a free e-book from this site, and others will appear on the Stories pages regularly.

For now, the regularity of my work is somewhat subject to my recovery from an eating disorder that for the past year has stolen my body and lessened my mind. The latter is now functioning well, but my body is still showing signs of the trauma it's undergone. Yet that journey has shaped who I am and it underpins my writing. For that, I'm grateful.

I currently live in Kent, with my parents and near to my elderly grandmother. I am thankful that I have time with them that I've not had for many years. My friends and other family have also been a huge support. Most of all, I have my dog, Gatsby, and my very furry house-rabbits, Zeke and Ezra.

I am always happy to hear from readers. Do get in touch to say 'hi', or with anything you'd like to ask.

Clare xx